It is now almost 2 months since Bill's passing and nothing has been settled as far as his Social Security or military payments, including a monthly survivor benefit annuity payment that I am supposed to be receiving. Initially, Social Security was quick and easy to deal with, but someone somewhere in their regional office seems to delight in making life miserable for the newly bereaved. First, they sent a letter stating the benefits that they will pay. That was great. Then they sent a letter saying that they were canceling all payments because I had moved and not notified them. I have lived at the same address for over 30 years! Now, they say that they will reinstate payments, but they will not pay for the month in which Bill died. So, I have filed a second appeal.

In the meantime, the military does nothing. They finally sent several forms a month after Bill's death and our last name was spelled wrong, so I had to send them back. It is now over 3 weeks later and I have heard nothing.

I finally contacted my senator and his office is investigating. Perhaps someone will listen to them. We thought we had everything planned and were well prepared, but it seems that every public agency out there is a mess. It concerns me that those who experience a sudden death and are reeling under the shock are also being treated in such a cavilier manner.

Working my way through the myriad of agencies that need to be contacted has been a challenge and at times frustrating, and we were pretty organized. I knew everything about our financial affairs, retirement benefits, etc. and the things I am learning still amaze me.

Social Security was a breeze to deal with. The military is another matter. Though they have a casualty office, it is unstaffed, so I have had to try to find out just which agencies to contact and hope that I have found them all. The other company from which Bill drew a pension has been slow, but they seem to be efficient. However, they told me they were cancelling my insurance as of the end of the month when I found out today they actually are supposed to pay the cost of COBRA benefits for 6 months while I transition to another company, in this case Tricare through the military.

A word of caution to anyone in a similar situation - keep good records and don't be afraid to call anyone and everyone and ask what you need to know. One person told me yesterday that Visa and Mastercard sometimes carry insurance on card holders. Mine doesn't but I checked. Some mortgage companies also carry mortgage insurance, which will pay off the balance on a home. I am learning enough to write a book!